I called.
I made the first move.It took me three days to build up my courage.I pondered and worried about how my call would be received.
And then one evening I just told myself that if I didn't call,I would regret it even more . Once I dialed the number there was no going back.I had to answer, had to ask the right questions knowing I was talking to someone who I had almost 20 years ago.
It's funny how even the most meaningless relationships actually mean something to you.
I know I haven't lived long enough to give advice but I see how often we screw up the nicest of relationships just because we dont want to be the better person,the pushover and often a day of not talking to someone who you thought was close ends up into years.
In my case I just didn't bother to get to know people who didn't add to my life.
They were there,I was here and the gap seemed too big to bridge and I think we don't realise that even though we may have nothing in common we still have ties that bind.
Ties of blood ....
People who my children should know and don't.
At family gatherings I find I know a handful of the relatives. We meet at these one off weddings of a long lost someone's cousins son.
There are some we see quite often and who we can ahh and ooh with on how we are looking older,fatter,thinner,on how our children have grown and catch up on family gossip.
My husband is not a family gatherer. He hates these get togethers and will easily avoid them if he can.
When we first got married I was told on a visit to a periamma who lived in another town that on no condition should I be persuaded to stay in their house. I was to have lunch with the family and then chit chat for a certain set amount of time and then he would give me the nod and sign. I was to get up and say my farewells and gently drop all suggestions to stay the night. "You will be staying by yourself if you say yes,count me out" was his terse response.
The only place he does stay stay at is my mother's. For once he is on the back foot,as she stays in the back of beyond and he has very little choice .
I recently wrote a letter to each of my cousins on my mother's side inviting them to participate in my grandmother's legacy and found them responding to it with much warmth . There are do many stories for us to share there.I hope that it's the string that will tie us all together.
For it is in the stories that we pass on to our children that keep the people in our lives alive.
I know I cannot get back that severed relationship if that person is gone but I can renew the ties the bind.
I said goodbye knowing I had done the right thing. That I could feel the sadness of her passing and knowing in some way I had been a comfort to her grieving husband.
I hope I did . I hope that if you should read this and if it helps you change something in yourself...i may have made a difference.
April brought the showers and the coffee buds have dried and begun to get ready for the second blossom. The bees are busy making coffee honey.
The weather has turned too warm and global warming is here to stay.
It's time for cold brews and ice cream...
Don't close the door on any relationship ,if you must leave then leave the light on so there is always hope....
I made the first move.It took me three days to build up my courage.I pondered and worried about how my call would be received.
And then one evening I just told myself that if I didn't call,I would regret it even more . Once I dialed the number there was no going back.I had to answer, had to ask the right questions knowing I was talking to someone who I had almost 20 years ago.
It's funny how even the most meaningless relationships actually mean something to you.
I know I haven't lived long enough to give advice but I see how often we screw up the nicest of relationships just because we dont want to be the better person,the pushover and often a day of not talking to someone who you thought was close ends up into years.
In my case I just didn't bother to get to know people who didn't add to my life.
They were there,I was here and the gap seemed too big to bridge and I think we don't realise that even though we may have nothing in common we still have ties that bind.
Ties of blood ....
People who my children should know and don't.
At family gatherings I find I know a handful of the relatives. We meet at these one off weddings of a long lost someone's cousins son.
There are some we see quite often and who we can ahh and ooh with on how we are looking older,fatter,thinner,on how our children have grown and catch up on family gossip.
My husband is not a family gatherer. He hates these get togethers and will easily avoid them if he can.
When we first got married I was told on a visit to a periamma who lived in another town that on no condition should I be persuaded to stay in their house. I was to have lunch with the family and then chit chat for a certain set amount of time and then he would give me the nod and sign. I was to get up and say my farewells and gently drop all suggestions to stay the night. "You will be staying by yourself if you say yes,count me out" was his terse response.
The only place he does stay stay at is my mother's. For once he is on the back foot,as she stays in the back of beyond and he has very little choice .
I recently wrote a letter to each of my cousins on my mother's side inviting them to participate in my grandmother's legacy and found them responding to it with much warmth . There are do many stories for us to share there.I hope that it's the string that will tie us all together.
For it is in the stories that we pass on to our children that keep the people in our lives alive.
I know I cannot get back that severed relationship if that person is gone but I can renew the ties the bind.
I said goodbye knowing I had done the right thing. That I could feel the sadness of her passing and knowing in some way I had been a comfort to her grieving husband.
I hope I did . I hope that if you should read this and if it helps you change something in yourself...i may have made a difference.
April brought the showers and the coffee buds have dried and begun to get ready for the second blossom. The bees are busy making coffee honey.
The weather has turned too warm and global warming is here to stay.
It's time for cold brews and ice cream...
Don't close the door on any relationship ,if you must leave then leave the light on so there is always hope....
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