Yesterday made me sad
I got a text early in the morning letting me know my cousin passed away.
I couldn't make it to the funeral but that wasn't it...
She was my first cousin on my father's side and I hardly knew her.
All day I wondered why
When we were little ,we visited my grandmother every month.A sunday after church drive to her place on the other side of the city for lunch.A very sombre and boring affair that I couldn't wait to end.This was because my grandmother held the reins and nobody dare cross her. The cousin who passed was a young nursing student and would often be asleep.
My Dad was the eldest in the family and was the honoured guest,and my grandmother's pride and joy.
We never spoke much to anyone,just some shy smiles and answers to questions in Tamil which I couldn't speak at all well.
We moved out of the city the year after my father died and with that all familial ties...with his family.
Mum was different ,she always wrote and called and helped whenever she could but I am sad to say I didn't. Didn't bother to anyway .
I kept in touch with a few cousins on my father's side,and have met more on my mother's side only because of family gathering.
It's an excuse if any.
Am I the only person who does this.?
Why are indifferent to our own...
Why does it need to be the other person who makes the effort...and if they don't well we give up as well.
We make no attempt to visit or call.
I fear the ties will end with my mum...shes the one who knows whose birthday it is,who just had a baby,who child is getting married and it's to her they turn to when they need advice,or pass on a message.
I need to change this but am not sure how. I need mum to make me a list of everyone and write their birthdates and other stuff do I can call or text.
I need to tell my cousin I am so sorry I didn't make time to know her, and am sorry for what she and I have missed.
Maybe this will change now....i hope it does. I pray it does
I hope those of us who have dead relationships do revive those we can. It's important to know family.
The rains came on time and the fragrance of the coffee flowers are in the air. Bees are busy making coffee flavoured honey. i hope to be able to share a picture of the coffee buds with you.
Until then enjoy the coffee and the summer
I got a text early in the morning letting me know my cousin passed away.
I couldn't make it to the funeral but that wasn't it...
She was my first cousin on my father's side and I hardly knew her.
All day I wondered why
When we were little ,we visited my grandmother every month.A sunday after church drive to her place on the other side of the city for lunch.A very sombre and boring affair that I couldn't wait to end.This was because my grandmother held the reins and nobody dare cross her. The cousin who passed was a young nursing student and would often be asleep.
My Dad was the eldest in the family and was the honoured guest,and my grandmother's pride and joy.
We never spoke much to anyone,just some shy smiles and answers to questions in Tamil which I couldn't speak at all well.
We moved out of the city the year after my father died and with that all familial ties...with his family.
Mum was different ,she always wrote and called and helped whenever she could but I am sad to say I didn't. Didn't bother to anyway .
I kept in touch with a few cousins on my father's side,and have met more on my mother's side only because of family gathering.
It's an excuse if any.
Am I the only person who does this.?
Why are indifferent to our own...
Why does it need to be the other person who makes the effort...and if they don't well we give up as well.
We make no attempt to visit or call.
I fear the ties will end with my mum...shes the one who knows whose birthday it is,who just had a baby,who child is getting married and it's to her they turn to when they need advice,or pass on a message.
I need to change this but am not sure how. I need mum to make me a list of everyone and write their birthdates and other stuff do I can call or text.
I need to tell my cousin I am so sorry I didn't make time to know her, and am sorry for what she and I have missed.
Maybe this will change now....i hope it does. I pray it does
I hope those of us who have dead relationships do revive those we can. It's important to know family.
The rains came on time and the fragrance of the coffee flowers are in the air. Bees are busy making coffee flavoured honey. i hope to be able to share a picture of the coffee buds with you.
Until then enjoy the coffee and the summer
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